I Like That Story The Gleeful Professor and Inevitable Third

The Gleeful Professor

His name was Professor Underwood and he absolutely loved his job. He was my professor of parasitology at the University of Minnesota and he would charge into each class with undisguised glee.
The class was Introduction to Parasitology, nicked-named “the worm class.”
And for a full hour, he would (using plenty of slides!) teach the hundred or so innocent and naïve college sophomores aaalllll about parasites.
He would stalk the front row, waving his arms and describing the millions—no BILLIONS—of parasites that lived around and about us and inside of us! I can still picture the slack-jawed horror on the faces of some sorority girls as he showed victims of hookworm, roundworm and elephantiasis. At the end of each lecture, he would shout in triumph, “Now go enjoy your lunch!”
One lecture I remember in particular. “PINWORMS!” he shouted. “They are EVERYWHERE!”  
I will stop right now and tell you two things:
1. There is a reason I am telling you this story
2. I will sanitize the details in case you’re going to eat lunch, too.
“Pinworms,” Professor Underwood intoned with obvious glee, “infect one third of all Americans at any given time. They are harmless, only causing mild itching, and have a life span of only a few weeks.”
“Then they lay MILLIONS of eggs, which can be found EVERYWHERE!!” he flung his arms wide to encompass the whole room.
I will not tell you any more about pinworms (Google it if you must). I will not tell you how Professor Underwood instructed us how to find them, I will not tell you how much his exuberant attitude affected the grad students who held us prisoner once a week in repulsive labs featuring Too Much Information.
I will tell you this. Wash your hands. Take Precautions. But…live your life. I have been reading about this current flu which followed in my memory Swine flu (nasty), SARS (awful) West Nile (bad Stuff) and Ebola (horrible!). It is the latest skirmish in an age-old battle between Them (all the nasty worms, bugs, viruses and infections) and Us. I don’t know what the current score is for Them, but there are about 8 billion of Us.
And after considering all the facts I am more than willing to stay home to “lower the curve”, I think the six rolls of toilet paper I bought in February should just about do it and if I could avoid getting any kind of flu that would be great. And yes, I will wash my hands more and knock knuckles more because that is just some of the common sense that I learned when I was a horrified sophomore.
Thanks, Professor Underwood. I guess I did learn something. 😉