The Truth About Attractive

This story is for women and those who love them. Most days of the week I go to a gym. I find it helps me relax and feel better. I go at a pace right for me and between machines I get a chance to look around and observe. I’m not the best at ages and weights, but here goes. I saw a woman head out to her car after a workout. She’s about 60, does 30 minutes or so on an elliptical machine and a few stretches. She comes with a friend about the same age. They’re both mid-height and I’d guess about 30 pounds heavier than they were in high school. And they’ve been going to this gym as long as I can remember.

The woman was dressed for her work day, hair still damp, coat for the cold weather and I thought: That is an attractive woman. I saw another woman; I’m guessing she was around 30. She was about 5’ 10”, 260 lbs. and was heading to the showers after grinding through an intense workout class. I watch this class through the plexiglass wall in the gym—participants are all shapes and sizes, and they do not mess around.

Anyway, her blonde hair was up in a bun, she had a towel around her shoulders and her head was up, her expression relaxed and I thought: That is an attractive woman, too.

And then it clicked in my mind. Attractiveness is not just about physical attributes, like height, weight, hair color or curves. It is an intangible look that comes from the confidence you see when a person is on a good path. I looked around at all the woman in the gym and most had that same look that was appealing. It was this look that made them attractive.

I’m not going to troll around the gym and tell women, “Hey, you look attractive.” And most other men will not either. The few creeps who do say that, will say it in a way that doesn’t feel genuine.

Here is the truth. Men don’t care how you look. They are attracted to the way you feel about yourself.

So, try this experiment: Go to a gym for year. Work out hard, or work out slow, stretch, or lift or walk. Weigh yourself if you want, time yourself if you need to, but I’m telling you right now— the real result will be how you look when you walk by us on the way to your car.

You’ll look confident. You’ll look relaxed. You’ll look attractive.